An Ode To NaNoWriMo

God, it’s so beautiful.

Ah NaNoWriMo, how I love you! Let me count the ways.

1. NaNoWriMo is in November. For the entire month. That’s 1/12 of the year!

2. NaNoWriMo has other months for writing. There is Camp NaNoWriMo, which runs during May and July.

3. You can adjust your word count. Thank god. I could never write 50,000 words in 1 months.

4. Motivation. When I know that someone or something is keeping track of my writing, I work harder so I don’t feel embarrassed, like I didn’t do anything.

5. Pep talks. NaNoWriMo literally sends you a pep talk written by a famous author every week to keep you going.

6. Their logo is a shield. A SHIELD, PEOPLE. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL.

7. You will have no excuse not to do it, because 300,000 other people are. So you can finally start that book.

8. You can finally write down one of those randomly awesome book ideas you get in the shower or something.

9. When you are on your computer writing your novel, and someone asks you what you are doing, you can just say casually “Oh, just writing the next great novel. Did I mention I’m going to do it in a month?”

10. It’s absolutely free. And absolutely awesome.

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How To Write A Best-Selling Novel According To The Internet

I have long dreamed of writing a successful, popular novel. (Haven’t we all?) So, just like many people in the rest of the world do to find information, I turned to Google. I know Google is the best search engine for me. After all, I did once take that Bing vs. Google test. You can find everything there. For instance, if you wanted to know how to build an atomic bomb, you could find that on Google. Seriously. Look up “How to build a bomb”. First result. They say “With a few parts from a hardware store and some know-how, it is possible to build a weapon of mass destruction. Well, as long as you can find a few pounds of plutonium on Ebay to fuel it.” I quote.

It turns out that many, many people have written, read, and contemplated what makes a book successful. The general consensus seems to be that as everyone appears to have a different view of success, everyone has a different idea on what makes books successful. They will also have different ideas on how to gauge the success of a book. Then, they will also have different ways to read the numbers, and interpret the numbers, well, I think you get it. Everyone has tried, and, as it seems, ultimately  failed, to explain the factors of a book’s success.

When I looked this up, apparently scientists had found the secret to writing a best selling novel, with an 84% success rate! (At least, accorrding to Telegraph.co.uk) I must admit, I checked it out. See? Now you don’t have to do any of the work! Anyway, if you are just dreaming about writing the next bestseller, make sure to include lots of ands, buts, nouns, adjectives, as well as words with “thought processes”, such as remembered. Be sure to avoid too many verbs and verbs.

Another website claims that it’s all in the publicity. And when they say publicity, they really mean it. This is taking it to the next level. According to The Altantic, you can’t just write a story. You literally have to become a story. Bringing to mind the saying, there’s no bad publicity, this site suggests gaining, then losing 100+ pounds, or give away 5,000 or something of your books. (It worked for one author, apparently.) Those are the less shocking ones. If you really want to bring out the crazy, the guys at the Atlantic suggest this. It’s delicious. You have to read it word for word. “Find a cure for—oh, for heaven’s sake, do we have to do everything? You, the author, can do at least identify potentially curable diseases for yourself.” Why not? Hey, you wrote a book. Surely you can also cure cancer or something! That’s not even the craziest they have to offer. If you really want to get “out there”, they suggest getting arrested. Seriously. They are confident you can get arrested. After all, “if every prison buys your book, it will be a bestseller!”

Personally, I think the best advice comes from Forbes. That is, write a series, and keep your charcter alive. That’s kinda important.

P.S. If you really want to read the articles, links are below.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/booked/2010/11/13/what-makes-a-book-publisher-drool-can-you-say-series/

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/12/how-to-make-your-book-a-bestseller/282630/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/10560533/Scientists-find-secret-to-writing-a-best-selling-novel.html

 

 

The Wild Nerd Yonder And A New Frontier

First things first, I would like to apolagoize for leaving LibraryLassie for so long. There’s no excuse. But I’m back, and better that ever. (Hopefully). I’m also thinking about starting up a music blog. But don’t worry. I am not going to neglect my first and best blog, this guy right here. I’m also making a change. Ish. As I get older, I am getting less interesed in younger children’s books, and now I really prefer teen books. So, I thought I should warn you. Some of these books are most definitly not approbrate for younger children. So, be warned.

Like this one. I love it. It’s called Into The Wild Nerd Yonder, and it’s HILARIOUS. It’s all about a girl named Jessie. She’s a sophmore in high school, and is best friends with two girls named Bizza and Char. She really looks up to her protective older brother Barrett, who is a member of the punk rock band the Clodhoppers. She also happens to have a crush on the drummer, Van. She also sews her own skirts, and has a different one for each day of the year.

She has to deal with the forces of peer pressure, when Bizza and Char decide to be something else. They had always been sorta-groupies. They followed the Clodhoppers everywhere. But at the beginnign of 10th grade, they go full on punk. Shave their heads, boots, black makeup punk. And now Jessie has to choose between her old freinds and a group of nerds who play Dungeons and Dragons. This is a great coming of age book about finding yourself and being who you truly are. I highly reccommend it. Just remember, it’s very funny, but only because it’s innapropriate for younger kids. Check it out sometime. Or give it as a middle school graduation present.

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