Thrilling and Chilling

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I’m a fan of murder mysteries, so it was only a slight deviation from my normal book pattern when I picked up Slasher Girls and Monster Boys. And boy was I glad that I did.

So apparently the stories in SGAMB were written by some of the greatest YA horror writers, all together in one place. Normally, I don’t read horror, but I think I might start after reading this book. I was absolutely blown away by the quality and the plotlines of these stories.

Not that they all have much in common. Some end in a way that leave you guessing, in fact, most do, but that’s about all they share. Each and every story was different, but they all were intense and dark, just what I like. They promised me, and I quote “terrifying tales and psychological thrillers”, and they delivered.

I must admit, after I read the first story, The Birds of Azalea Street, I didn’t expect much. I didn’t find it that entertaining; I didn’t even completely understand it. There was a neighborhood pervert suspected by only the teenage girls who were his targets. There were birds, and a girl, and that’s all I really could figure out. I wasn’t left wondering what happened next, I was left wondering what had just happened.

In The Forest Dark and Deep was tantalizing. After I figured out that the patchworked time skips were in fact intentional, I really began to enjoy it. The end was nothing like I had imagined. A word of warning, after reading this story, you’ll never be able to look at Alice in Wonderland, especially the White Rabbit, the same way again.

My two personal favorites were The Dark, Scary Parts and All and Stitches. Let’s just say, the devil has feelings too. And Stitches? Pretty much guaranteed to put you off kiwis, fruit sorbet, and especially gingerbread for life.

If you want to read about WWI France, teen stars gone wrong, closets, Appalachian folk tales, or anything in between, you’ll find it here. And if you love to read dark, disturbing stories about impossible, awful things that happen to people who both do and don’t deserve them, you’ll find them here. Do yourself a favor. Read Slasher Girls and Monster Boys.

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Guess Who’s Back

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So, wow, how long has it been? About a year, I would say. Pretty close to it, anyway.

I maintained this blog for about a year, maybe a little more, then slowly lost interest, and it just fell to the wayside. I was growing up, doing new things, and I just wasn’t as into this blog anymore. Besides, the books I was reading weren’t really blog-worthy, so why say anything?

But the times, they have a-changed, and now I’m reading some pretty great books. Be forewarned, I’m reading young adult/adult books now, and those are the ones I will be talking about. I’m looking forward to getting back in the swing of things, and all that jazz!

I’m back, baby.

Futures With Hitler In Charge Are Incredibly Terrifying

I’m not actually afraid of spiders.

Recently, I read a book called The Only Thing To Fear. And I’m telling you, you haven’t been scared until you read it. It’s not the book. The book is great. In fact, it’s so great that I would totally recommend it to anyone.

WHY HELLO THERE, EVERYONE! HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BOOK…?

Sorry. My bad. I totally forgot I was writing a post to put on the internet where everyone can read it. I am so, so sorry. Please, ignore that last bit.

So, this book is about what the future might have been like if Hitler won WWII. Apparently, the Nazis had been working on a secret project in their Torture Chamber “Laboratories”. That secret project was people with superpowers. (I know, it’s like someone took all the awesome ever, poured it into a funnel, and made this book.) The Allies had been trying to create the Atomic bomb, but the Germans succeeded first. So they took their army of mutants and conquered the world.

*Time Skip*

3 generations later, Hitler still rules the entire world. But not Adolf. His Grandson, Dieter Hitler, has inherited the throne. After much experimentation, the Nazis discovered how to give someone superpowers, and still expect them to live to 80. Also, these new super powered people, (aka Anomalies), can pass the superpower gene onto their kids.

Aryans are like the 1%. Except with more. So, the 30%. And everyone else is poor and barely scrapes through life. Did I mention the fact that only the 1% get to have superpowers? Yeah, well, if you aren’t the 1%, and you have superpowers, the 1% kill you! (Also, the Japanese get to be Aryan.)

I feel like that’s a metaphor for something.

Zara, the 16 year old lovechild of a Japanese soldier and a farmgirl, is a dual anomaly. That means she has 2 powers. And one night, she uses her powers to defile the portrait of Hitler in retaliation for the Nazis killing an old friend. And then everything just begins to fall apart. I won’t spoil it for you. (heheheheh) She makes…

But seriously. Just imagine, for a second, what your life would be like if Hitler was in charge. Then go around and kiss everything. Just: “OMG I HAVE IT! I HAVE POSSESIONS! I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I WOULD SO MISS YOU GUYS IF YOU WERE NEVER BORN!

Appreciate life, because what if someone went back in time and helped Hitler win. Life as you knew it never would have existed. 

Take A Little Inspiration

I’m back! Wow, I missed this!

I’m growing up in the internet generation. More and more people are spending time on their computers and stuff. But o course, I can’t really get mad at them. Or you. After all, where do I write this blog? On the internet. And where do you read it. Same place. And of course, another wonderful thing the internet s that it has brought us Netflix. Of course, you have to pay for it *sigh* but since I am technically still a kid my parents pay for our family account!

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering 1. Why the heck is the she talking about Netflix? 2. What does Netflix have to do with books? 3. During her six-month sabbatical, did she suddenly convert to only watching movies? The answers to those questions are:

1. Because I can. So I will. And did. Ha.

2. Nothing. Nothing at all. Except it does have to do with Mean Girls. And Mean Girls has to do with books. So in a roundabout way, you end up with books. This strategy can be applied to anything. Try and find something that isn’t. I dare you!

3. No. Also no, no, nopers, negative, and nada.

So anyway, as I was saying, Netflix. *STORY TIME*

A few days ago, I was sick, and had to stay home. And I wanted to watch Mean Girls because I had never watched it before, and all my friends said that it was hilarious. (If you don’t know what it is, I am very sorry for you, go google it right now. Or if you hate Google or something, go… bing it? Eww. That just sounds wrong.) So I got it from the library!!!!! One of my favorite places in the whole wide world! I love it so much! Every town should have one!

Anyhoo, it turns out that Mean Girls is based on a book called Queen Bees and Wannabes, so I had to read it. It’s actually sort of scary. But I am lucky, as my friends all are great. *BACK TO REAL LIFE*

So, after that lovely story, I hope we all know the moral! Come on, come on, let me hear you say it. I say “What’s the moral”, you say the moral! Ready? Ok!

What’s the moral?

”                                                        ” I can’t hear you! I said…

WHAT’S THE MORAL?

”                                                                         ” That’s the spirit!

For those of you who didn’t know the moral, the moral is “Every good movie comes from a book.” Now get back up there, and say it. Go on. I’ll wait.

Welcome back. And just in case you didn’t believe me, here is a list of movies inspired by books.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Basically all of the Disney Princess movies, especially The Frog Princess. Look up the book, it’s great

Shrek

Jaws

Forrest Gump

The Boxtrolls

and, of course, Mean Girls.

This is Librarylassie, signing off. And remember…

An Ode To NaNoWriMo

God, it’s so beautiful.

Ah NaNoWriMo, how I love you! Let me count the ways.

1. NaNoWriMo is in November. For the entire month. That’s 1/12 of the year!

2. NaNoWriMo has other months for writing. There is Camp NaNoWriMo, which runs during May and July.

3. You can adjust your word count. Thank god. I could never write 50,000 words in 1 months.

4. Motivation. When I know that someone or something is keeping track of my writing, I work harder so I don’t feel embarrassed, like I didn’t do anything.

5. Pep talks. NaNoWriMo literally sends you a pep talk written by a famous author every week to keep you going.

6. Their logo is a shield. A SHIELD, PEOPLE. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL.

7. You will have no excuse not to do it, because 300,000 other people are. So you can finally start that book.

8. You can finally write down one of those randomly awesome book ideas you get in the shower or something.

9. When you are on your computer writing your novel, and someone asks you what you are doing, you can just say casually “Oh, just writing the next great novel. Did I mention I’m going to do it in a month?”

10. It’s absolutely free. And absolutely awesome.

How To Write A Best-Selling Novel According To The Internet

I have long dreamed of writing a successful, popular novel. (Haven’t we all?) So, just like many people in the rest of the world do to find information, I turned to Google. I know Google is the best search engine for me. After all, I did once take that Bing vs. Google test. You can find everything there. For instance, if you wanted to know how to build an atomic bomb, you could find that on Google. Seriously. Look up “How to build a bomb”. First result. They say “With a few parts from a hardware store and some know-how, it is possible to build a weapon of mass destruction. Well, as long as you can find a few pounds of plutonium on Ebay to fuel it.” I quote.

It turns out that many, many people have written, read, and contemplated what makes a book successful. The general consensus seems to be that as everyone appears to have a different view of success, everyone has a different idea on what makes books successful. They will also have different ideas on how to gauge the success of a book. Then, they will also have different ways to read the numbers, and interpret the numbers, well, I think you get it. Everyone has tried, and, as it seems, ultimately  failed, to explain the factors of a book’s success.

When I looked this up, apparently scientists had found the secret to writing a best selling novel, with an 84% success rate! (At least, accorrding to Telegraph.co.uk) I must admit, I checked it out. See? Now you don’t have to do any of the work! Anyway, if you are just dreaming about writing the next bestseller, make sure to include lots of ands, buts, nouns, adjectives, as well as words with “thought processes”, such as remembered. Be sure to avoid too many verbs and verbs.

Another website claims that it’s all in the publicity. And when they say publicity, they really mean it. This is taking it to the next level. According to The Altantic, you can’t just write a story. You literally have to become a story. Bringing to mind the saying, there’s no bad publicity, this site suggests gaining, then losing 100+ pounds, or give away 5,000 or something of your books. (It worked for one author, apparently.) Those are the less shocking ones. If you really want to bring out the crazy, the guys at the Atlantic suggest this. It’s delicious. You have to read it word for word. “Find a cure for—oh, for heaven’s sake, do we have to do everything? You, the author, can do at least identify potentially curable diseases for yourself.” Why not? Hey, you wrote a book. Surely you can also cure cancer or something! That’s not even the craziest they have to offer. If you really want to get “out there”, they suggest getting arrested. Seriously. They are confident you can get arrested. After all, “if every prison buys your book, it will be a bestseller!”

Personally, I think the best advice comes from Forbes. That is, write a series, and keep your charcter alive. That’s kinda important.

P.S. If you really want to read the articles, links are below.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/booked/2010/11/13/what-makes-a-book-publisher-drool-can-you-say-series/

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/12/how-to-make-your-book-a-bestseller/282630/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/10560533/Scientists-find-secret-to-writing-a-best-selling-novel.html

 

 

The Wild Nerd Yonder And A New Frontier

First things first, I would like to apolagoize for leaving LibraryLassie for so long. There’s no excuse. But I’m back, and better that ever. (Hopefully). I’m also thinking about starting up a music blog. But don’t worry. I am not going to neglect my first and best blog, this guy right here. I’m also making a change. Ish. As I get older, I am getting less interesed in younger children’s books, and now I really prefer teen books. So, I thought I should warn you. Some of these books are most definitly not approbrate for younger children. So, be warned.

Like this one. I love it. It’s called Into The Wild Nerd Yonder, and it’s HILARIOUS. It’s all about a girl named Jessie. She’s a sophmore in high school, and is best friends with two girls named Bizza and Char. She really looks up to her protective older brother Barrett, who is a member of the punk rock band the Clodhoppers. She also happens to have a crush on the drummer, Van. She also sews her own skirts, and has a different one for each day of the year.

She has to deal with the forces of peer pressure, when Bizza and Char decide to be something else. They had always been sorta-groupies. They followed the Clodhoppers everywhere. But at the beginnign of 10th grade, they go full on punk. Shave their heads, boots, black makeup punk. And now Jessie has to choose between her old freinds and a group of nerds who play Dungeons and Dragons. This is a great coming of age book about finding yourself and being who you truly are. I highly reccommend it. Just remember, it’s very funny, but only because it’s innapropriate for younger kids. Check it out sometime. Or give it as a middle school graduation present.

Unraveling The Mysteries Of Dystopian Fiction

If you haven’t been living under a rock for the past few years, you have probably noticed the growing trend in dystopian novels. It’s pretty hard to ignore. Most of these names will probably be familiar. Some are oldies. Most are recent. Hunger Games. The Giver. Divergent. Matched. Legend. Crewel. The Circle. The Time Machine. The Maze Runner. The list goes on and on. Dystopian fiction really well written, and I myself sometimes pick one up. But a question I often find myself asking is “Why do we choose to portray humankind in such a manner?”

In dystopian novels, humankind as we know it has been totally and utterly disfigured. In most novels there was either a great environmental disaster, a nuclear apocalypse, or a great war between man. The underlying message in many dystopian novels is often “Humankind is flawed, but through great trial, effort, and a few hundred years, we can always fix things. Er, change things for the better. Well, what we and a bunch of other people think is better.”

So, why do we even like it? Dystopian fiction, for the most part, views us, humans as we are now, are fundamentally flawed. Our emotions bring us down. Our government and its leaders suck. We should all only be able to see the color grey. (Which, surprisingly, comes up a lot). It basically insults us, our thoughts, ideas, and dreams. Yet, it is one of the most popular genres. How does this even make sense?

I mean, if you’re going to take the time to imagine a whole future world, could it maybe look more like this?

C’mon, people! Let’s see some rainbow roads!

But nooooooooo, dystopian worlds have to be colorless and everyone can only see grey. No red, green, purple, that kind of stuff. GREY.

At least someone’s getting it straight.

Also, what is up with the use of computer chips? How about a stylish bracelet or ring? Maybe a belt? STOP WHIPING PEOPLE’S MEMORIES. THAT IS SOOOOO OVERDONE. IT NEEDS TO STOP. NOW.

So next time you go out and write a dystopian novel, please take the time to think about what I said. Dystopia, you are in for a major change.

Growing Up In Our New World

I love this book. For the record, the book is called The Adventures Of Superhero Girl. It is hilarious, and I can’t stop reading it. You should read it. It is a great book. Seriously. But it also makes me think. What will I be like when I am older? Throughout the book, I see Superhero Girl’s triumphs and failures. And it makes me wonder… wonder who I will become.

So where am I?

No, not here.

No, not here.

About... HERE!

About… HERE!

That’s me. And as I read this book (not COMIC, BOOK. Get it through your head), I’m questioning my future more and more. Where will I end up?

 

Will I be someone who drags everyone down? Will i be a failure?

Will I be someone who drags everyone down? Will I be a failure?

Will I be out on a date, or left behind, without even a fuzzy, cuddly, cat?

Will I be out on a date, or left behind, without even a fuzzy, cuddly, cat?

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Will I be alone, the butt of everyone’s jokes, with everyone laughing at me?

Will i be forced to NARRATE someone's life?!

Will I be forced to NARRATE someone’s life?!

Will I become evil?

Will I become evil?

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Will I become a cynical 53 year old with a passionate hatred for hipsters?

Whatever happens, I'll try to remain strong.

Whatever happens, I’ll try to remain strong.

To call home.

To call home.

To do what is right.

To do what is right.

To do what is right for me.

To do what is right for me.

To cheer up my friends when they are down.

To cheer up my friends when they are down.

And to find my own place in the world.

And to find my own place in the world, wherever it may be.

Reaching 50

We have reached 50!

We have reached 50. And when I say we, I mean all of us. Everyone who looked at a post, everyone who came to this site. 50 posts. 50 followers. And I’d like to thank all of you. You guys made this possible. Thank you for supporting me in my quest for a good book. Thank you for being here. I hope to see you guys back here again some other time.

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