Finishing Books According To Grover

Everyone who has read a really good book knows this problem. You find a really good book. You love it! You read until about you are 3/4 of the way through, and then you realize something very terrible. The book is going to end. And now you have a problem. You want to see what happens at the end. But you don’t want it to end. So you want to finish it, but you can’t! Then it will end. Grover understands.

This is at the beginning of the book, when you are young and innocent and do not realize the book will ever possibly end.

Then you realize the book will end. The problem begins here.

Then you have a great idea. The book never has to end! All you have to do is stop reading it.

But, of course, you want to finish the book. You can’t help but read some more and come closer to the end.

You want to stop, but you can’t. You have to finish reading. But you have to stop reading.

Now you are fighting with yourself. Half of you wants to finish the book, but the other half doesn’t. This is the stage where people start worring about you.

You go nuts trying to figure out how to solve this terrible conundrum.

Now you start to get really crazy. YOU CAN’T FINISH THE BOOK! So you start coming up with crazy plans, like a reward system.

And you just get crazier and crazier.

Then you finally figure out a gigantic, enourmous plan that is sure to fail, but you don’t care at all.

Then it does fail, you finish the book, and your world comes crashing down around you.

Finally your brain just utterly fails, and you end up crying in a corner because there is no more book to read.

But it is ok. You finished the book, nothing really bad happened, and there are other books to be read. Go find them! This is a good book. You should read it.


Finding A Good Book Is Hard: Once You Find It, It’s Gone

Sadly, sometimes people write books that are so bad this never happened because of their book.

It is hard to find a good book. I think we all know that. Books that your friends like may not be the same kind you like. Tht book your coworker raved about might be really bad. Worst of all, you might really want to get a book, but there are no copies left in your local bookstore or library. I admit. Some books I read, I hate. Usually I pretend I like it until about halfway through, when I stop and say: “Wow. This is a really crappy book.” But of course, whenever you start reading a book, the Novel Laws* state that you must finish it. You can’t help it.

I just read a book called GONE. That was the original reason for the post. But then I started thinking. And this is the result. So go read GONE. Then come back and finish reading this. I’ll wait. It’s cool. Well, you obviously didn’t read it. It took me a while to read it. And here you are still. I’ll look past it, but just this once. Consider yourself warned.

All book should be like this one. I want a book to hug me now.

Think back to the last time you read a really good book. Was it really, really good. What was it about? What genre? I want to read all the books I can get. But anyway, while you are thinking about that really good book, try and remember when you read it. Unless there is a surplus of really good books where you live, it was probably a while ago. See where I am going? It is hard to find a good book. So if you find one, let me know.

*The Novel Laws are an ancient set of rules created by the first authors about reading and writing books. These laws control a lot of stuff that happens in the world. Kind of like the law of gravity.

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